"I’m so happy to have you back in my life." -Kayla Cerulli (aka wed-lock? haha)
I’m trying to think of a good way to begin to write and therefore describe all the events which continuously made me laugh throughout the nights entirety. My mind is coming up blank at how to approach this, so I’m going to skip the humor and indulge in one of the most important parts of my night; me and Kayla’s discussion at the bar. The topic, our friendship.
It was a wonderful conversation, that we weren’t actually able to finish. But maybe thats the best way to leave it. I hope it never gets finished.
Our shared words gave me the fortunate opportunity to come to a point of understanding today. I realized that the best and worst part of life is things can go full circle, and relationships with other people isn’t subject to exclusion. I mean, opinions change, goals vary, stress generally increases, ect. The point it, people change. Who’s to say those whom your closest will change with you as well? I guess there really isn’t any way to secure yourself from the fact that nothing in life is certain. The best defense, is faith.
If people love and care about you and are meant to be in your life, they will always find a way to be in it. Yes, things change, but the beautiful part of life is that things don’t have to be as they were before. Those friendships can develop into something entirely different yet equally as fascinating. I’m excited to discover where it’ll take me. =)
p.s- It’s absolutely beeeeeutiful outside. And excuse my writing right now for not being very well structured, I’ve only had 6 hours of sleep in the past 48 hours. So much for remembering my post from yesterday.
The next time I think getting 3 hours of sleep with 15+ hours of work ahead of me is acceptable; I will forever remember the way my body and mind felt while writing this post.
My poor body is so upset with me, I need to do a serious detox. Which reminds me! I was over a friend’s house last night for dinner with some of her family members and their close family friends. One lady asked my friend’s mom where another lady was, her mom replied, “Oh, her and her family fast on thursdays.” What the fuck? What family does a fast in unity with eachother? I really thought that this was incredibly strange. It may have been for religious purposes, but I honestly don’t think it was. Come on, doesn’t it just seem a little forced? I’m being incredibly judgemental, I have never even met these people before so clearly I shouldn’t even be commenting on their lifestlye choices. Even so, what the fuck? I can’t even imagine if my mom came home one day and proposed the notion of fasting. First of all, my dad wouldn’t give it the slightest bit of thought before tossing the idea out the window, and I would probably be eating, delusioned as I listened to the words come out of her mouth. [My mom is far from the type of woman who would ever consider this idea, not ‘new age’(is fasting new age?) at all, very old school, yet completely wacky, but then isn’t everyone’s mother?]
My quick thoughts to degrade this other family’s intentions may stem from a part of me who secretly wishes I had will power enough to fast one day out of every week. It probably is healthy for your body. In any case, I remember sitting at the table in the middle of dinner wondering to myself the type of person I may be today if I did have a childhood with parents similar to the woman the two older ladies were discussing. Countless questions and wonderous thoughts jump into my mind: “Would I be more cultured?”, “Would participating in an activity(could fasting be considred an activity, can’t think of the right adjective for it?) so distant from my peers be helpful in creating more confidence in my choices in the future?”, “Would I be healthier, thinner, more physically fit?”, ”Would a household with rules regarding the family diet, enforce other strict regiments, which in return shape me into a more driven young adult?”, “Would I have made less mistakes?” … more thoughts ensue.
I guess it’s pointless to think of the many different ways in which I could’ve developed, had I had a different upbringing, or rather different parents. Still, I can’t stop my mind from forming these thoughts. It’s amazing to think you can think of all these things in your mind in the middle of a casual dinner. Sometimes I think “Do other people think these things, or do I just wish my life was vastly different from how it currently is?” I guess these thoughts embarress me when they first enter my mind, which is way I neglect to to say them outloud in the midst of the current conversation. I mean, your not really supposed to think these things at the age of 20, right? Or are you? At the age when most kids are entering their junior year in college, I think im pretty acurate saying that parents no longer have authority making decisions for their children. Still, I can’t help but wonder … are we ever fully satisfied with the way our parents raised us? (Don’t throw stones at me for my carrie moment, I couldn’t resist, I’m sorry, I’ll never do it again!)
I have to go, cause I’m starting to feel ill. Im very surprised I wrote as much as I just did. I wasn’t intending on making an actual point. My intention was to write about how awful my body felt and how I was going to get a detox drink that costs $20 at a local health food store Basha’s. The former worked though.
Anyways, I’m about to muster ever single ounce of energy my 5’4” body has to a work out. Wish me luck!